Have you ever said yes out to desire to be loved, rather than saying yes out of a place of love? We want to be helpful and kind, not selfish or unloving. But we can neglect our own needs because of a fear of disappointing others. We please people instead of pleasing God.
Discussed in this episode:
Determine Your Best Yes (a gracious response)
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Have you ever said yes out to desire to be loved, rather than saying yes out of a place of love? We want to be helpful and kind, not selfish or unloving. But we can neglect our own needs because of a fear of disappointing others. We end up pleasing people instead of pleasing God.
People pleasing gets a bad rap. But most of the time people pleasing looks like the people around you being pleased with you. Sounds good to me.
Volunteer roles get filled. Everyone does their part. It all works great … until it doesn’t.
I’ve said yes because I had space on my calendar. I’ve said yes because I wanted to be a good Christian, a good friend, a good coworker. I’ve also said yes because I wanted to be liked or fit in.
Galatians 1:10 (NIV) reads: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Some make saying no sound simple. They don’t appear to struggle with the tension of saying yes or no. They even seem okay with not meeting others expectations.
Choose your best yes. Keep first things first: God, your husband, and loved ones. Make choices today that you won’t regret tomorrow.
I love it all and agree wholeheartedly.
But disappointing people hurts. Instead of bringing smiles, a “no” brings others stress. You can see the look on their face. They were counting on a positive response.
Disappointing others confirms the belief that I’m not enough.
If only I had more energy, more time, more capacity. If I didn’t need sleep or time to recharge, I could say yes to all the things.
But I can’t. So the requests continue to pile up, and I work to craft a gracious no. (Listen to Episode 12 to learn more about a gracious response.)
Disappointing others is part of saying “yes” to God’s best. Mary understood this. To set the scene, in the previous chapter, Jesus raised her brother Lazarus from the dead.
Luke 12:1-8 reads:
“Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those who sat at the table with Him. Then Mary took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
“But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who would betray Him, said, ‘Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?’ This he said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the money box; and he used to take what was put in it.
“But Jesus said, ‘Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have always.'”
Mary disappointed others when she anointed Jesus’ feet with perfume. Judas was quick to point out what her gift to Jesus cost and who it could have helped. The text doesn’t say what the others in the room thought.
Mary had a practice of going against the norms. She had sat at Jesus’ feet and learned to honor Him at any cost. She ignored Judas’ protests and humbly washed Jesus’ feet with her hair.
Biblical commentator David Guzik writes: “Luke 10:39: Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and learned. John 11:32: Mary fell at Jesus’ feet and surrendered. John 12:3: Mary anointed Jesus’ feet and honored Jesus.”
Sitting at Jesus’ feet enables us to say “yes” to God’s best. Then we can ignore the protests of others and keep Christ first. Disappointing others instead of disappointing Him.
Through Mary we learn.
Other people’s response is not our responsibility. Obedience is. There are certain things God has called each of us to do, people He has placed in our lives, those we are called to serve. Disappointing others is part of saying “yes” to God’s best. So let’s sit at Jesus feet so we can say yes to His best.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
Question to Journal About or Simply Contemplate:
Each episode I want to offer you a question to journal about or simply contemplate: What truth helps you let go of others expectations and keep God first?
I hope this simple encouragement of sitting at Jesus’ feet so you can say yes to His best can help you cultivate a rhythm of rest. Because while it’s true that life is complicated, our hearts find rest when we keep first things first and release the rest.
As we close, I want to leave you with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
Thank you for listening, sweet friend. Until next time rest in Christ.
